No sooner said... than S.J.'s done it

"I like how all the pictures are so dark"
"Dark? What do you mean, dark?"
"What does anybody mean by dark? Black, blackish, not much light. You know what dark means."
"Of course I know what dark means, and I don't see it. They're just pictures."
"Dark pictures. Anyway, I like them."
"You're not changing the subject that easily. Are you trying to say something?"
"Yes. I'm trying to say they're dark."
"I'm going to scream and hit you with something if you don't stop saying that."
"But it's true!"
"It's not!"
"How would you describe them then?"
"What's to describe? They're pictures, paintings to be exact. I suppose they're technically pictures of paintings as they're not the originals."
"I bet the people who painted them were depressed."
"Why?" "Because they're so. . ."
"Don't you dare say it!"
"Say what?"
"You know."
"Do I?"
"Don't play the innocent with me. You were going to say that word again."
"Word? What word?"
"I'm looking for the meat cleaver now and I'm not afraid to use it. That word, you buffoon." "That's two words."
"Eh?"
"You buffoon. That's two words."
"God give me strength."
"I thought you were an atheist. Is this a foxhole thing?"
"Are you deliberately trying to annoy me? Did you go to some kind of university for bloody-mindedness?"
"Better than the one you went to."
"You don't know which university I went to."
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."
"Grrrrrrrr." "It was the university of . . ."
"Yes?" "The university of . . ."
"Come on smart aleck. Let's be having it."
"The university of . . . Darkness!"
"Why you . . ."
"Sorry! End of page! Can't say any more or they'll have to scroll!"